This is a really interesting personal story piece about being genderfluid:
I Am Genderfluid by Astrophe on Jezebel
I found it yesterday, and a lot of it really resonated with me.
I think. I mean, I don’t know what else to call it.
My gender exists in some sort of quantum state. It’s Schrödinger’s cat, unknown unless I examine it. Boy day or girl day? Let me open the box and check. These days it’s usually a boy day, but there have been long stretches of time when I’m usually girl, and I’m sure there will be again. Sometimes it’s neither; I open the box and can’t tell whether the cat’s alive or not. And frequently, it’s both at once. A tuxedo cat, black AND white all at the same time, not sometimes black and sometimes white.
Someone once compared being genderfluid or genderqueer to being a superhero, and I think that’s brilliant. Your identity encompasses both at all times, no matter how you are presenting at the moment. The way Bruce Wayne and Batman are the same person all the time, but are still different identities.
I believe gender is a thing that is 90% imposed on us from outside, and it begins so early – the very moment we are born – that most people (in my culture, anyway) literally cannot conceive of the idea that the chasm that separates “male” and “female” is really more like a bike tire track in the mud. And despite years identifying as female and not questioning that, I somehow managed to trip and fall on both sides of it.